Howard Storm: An Atheist Professor's Cry for Rescue in the Darkness

Medical Details

On June 1, 1985, at age 38, at the end of a three-week art tour with his students, he collapsed in his hotel room with acute pain. A doctor diagnosed a perforated duodenum and said he needed surgery within the hour. At the surgical hospital no surgeon was available for about 10 hours and he was given no pain medication. After a nurse said a doctor might not be found until the next day, he said goodbye to his wife, stopped trying to breathe and lost consciousness. He had surgery at 10 o'clock the next morning.

The Experience

In June 1985, Howard Storm was 38, a college art professor and, in his words, a die-hard atheist, completely focused on his career. Near the end of an art tour with his students, he collapsed in terrible pain. A doctor told him he needed surgery within the hour, but at the hospital no surgeon came for ten hours, and he was given nothing for the pain. When a nurse said a doctor might not be found until the next day, he told his wife it was time to say goodbye and asked her to tell his children and parents he loved them. He closed his eyes and stopped trying to breathe.

He woke feeling wonderful, better than ever, his senses sharper than they had ever been. But his wife could not see or hear him, nor could his roommate. He saw a body in the bed that looked just like him and refused to accept it was his. Voices called from the dark hallway: "Howard, come, hurry." Shadowy figures told him they had been waiting for him a long time. Hoping they were hospital staff, he followed.

The journey led into deeper darkness, and his companions grew cruel, mocking him. In complete darkness, when he refused to go further, they attacked him, and he says he was left lying in pieces, yet still alive and thinking. Then a voice from outside himself said, "Pray to God." He didn't believe in God, but the voice insisted. He recited the few words he remembered from the 23rd Psalm and the Lord's Prayer. His attackers grew furious, but with every mention of God they retreated into the darkness, until he was alone.

Left there a long time, he saw that everything he had believed about his own importance had been ego, and he sank into despair. Then a vivid memory returned: himself as a child in Sunday school singing "Jesus Loves Me," and the love he had felt then. He cried out, "Jesus, please save me."

A tiny light like a star appeared and grew impossibly bright. Hands and arms reached out of it, and at their touch he was made whole. Jesus lifted him and held him tightly as Howard wept like a baby, feeling the greatest love and happiness he had ever known. They rose toward what looked like a galaxy of moving beings of light. Feeling unworthy, he thought it was a mistake, and Jesus told him, "We don't make mistakes. You do belong here."

Jesus called angels, who showed him his life. He saw how selfish he had become and how he had hurt his parents and friends, when what mattered was being kind and loving. Jesus answered all his questions, then told him he must return, gently overcoming his objections. Howard woke in his body as a nurse arrived to say the doctors were there.

How It Changed Their Life

He says he knew the most important thing in his life had happened and that he had to rebuild himself completely. Since 1985 he has worked at becoming a new person by following Jesus Christ, whom he calls his best friend.