Vincent Todd Tolman: "This One's Not Dead"

Medical Details

In 2003, Vinnie and a friend took a popular supplement ordered online that turned out to be toxic to them. In a locked single-use restaurant bathroom he fell onto his back, vomited and aspirated. Responders pronounced him dead, placed him in a body bag and loaded him into an ambulance, where a rookie medic restarted his heart with a third round of shocks, one block from a hospital. He says he was then in a coma for three days.

The Experience

In 2003, Vinnie Tolman and a friend took a new supplement that turned out to be toxic. While his friend collapsed in the dining room and was taken away, Vinnie fell in the locked restroom, vomited and suffocated. He remembers the room spinning, then a cool, dark, electric feeling.

Almost at once he was watching a scene unfold like a movie. He did not realize the body on the floor was his. He could perceive the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the restaurant: the manager's worry, the customers, the cook. A customer who couldn't get into the restroom alerted the manager, who found the body. Responders pronounced it dead, placed it in a body bag and drove away.

In the ambulance, Vinnie saw a golden glow begin to form around the heart of a rookie medic in his first week on the job. He felt a force pass over his own left shoulder and heard loudly, "This one's not dead." The medic heard it too and looked around. When the voice came a second time, even louder, the medic unzipped the bag. As he touched the leg, Vinnie felt a spark pass between them. Despite the other medics' protests, the rookie shocked the heart three times until a faint, steady heartbeat returned.

Only at the hospital, when he felt his own arm being strapped down, did Vinnie understand he had been watching his own death. Fear and darkness rushed in, along with glimpses of the harm he had caused others, felt from inside them. Then a warmth like warm water poured over him, an unconditional love, and he saw that his good far outweighed the bad, along with the ripple effect his life would have.

Behind him stood a man in white with a long white beard and glistening skin. Vinnie wondered if he was God, then Jesus, and heard a loving chuckle: no, he was his guide, Drake. Vinnie chose to go with him rather than return. Drake taught him what Vinnie describes as ten principles: be authentic; we are here to learn; love everyone; listen to your inner voice; use technology responsibly; release prejudice; exercise the power of creation through your thoughts; avoid negative influences; understand the purpose of opposition; and know that we are all one.

As he embraced them, he found himself in a vast place of beautiful trees and grass, with white light coming from everything and the presence of God everywhere. Drake hugged him, their light grew brighter together, and Vinnie heard his brother's prayer over his body on the third night of his coma, blessing him to be made whole. That love, he says, drew him back.

How It Changed Their Life

He says returning was the hardest thing he has ever done and that ordinary happiness eluded him at first, but about three months later he met Andrea, whom he calls the love of his life. He tries every day to live the principles he learned and has shared his experience for years, saying he had to die to learn how to live.